top of page
Writer's pictureJenny Bower

Feeling Touched Out? How to Set Gentle Breastfeeding Boundaries with Your Toddler

Updated: Nov 27

"I want help because I'm just feeling touched out..." is how many of my sleep consultations start. Meeting the needs of a toddler during the day is exhausting, and when there's no break in the evening or overnight, it can feel relentless and overwhelming – I know, I've been there! Especially when you have a breastfeeding toddler, and the last thing in the world you want to do is nurse them for what feels like the millionth time that night, but you know it's the quickest way to get both of you back to sleep.


As a holistic sleep consultant and IBCLC, I specialise in helping parents of breastfeeding toddlers regain balance in their feeding and sleep routines. The families I work with tend to love breastfeeding their toddlers, but they often feel it's becoming too much. It impacts their enjoyment of feeding and sometimes makes them consider stopping. I help families find balance in breastfeeding because it’s about what works best for both you and your child – it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Breastfeeding a toddler is about the relationship, and if one partner in the relationship isn’t happy, it's important to address that. Often, by changing the dynamics of breastfeeding, parents regain their enjoyment, and this works for most families. However, if parents decide that gradually stopping is what’s best for them, I support them every step of the way.


As breastfeeding parents, we know that breastfeeding is an amazing parenting tool, and it often fixes most problems. So, changing the dynamics of breastfeeding requires new parenting skills to manage those moments without relying on the breast. When considering breastfeeding boundaries, it's important to look at your child's behaviour and try to understand what need breastfeeding is fulfilling in specific moments. Then, you can think about alternative parenting strategies to manage those moments. Often, frequent daytime requests for breastfeeding stem from the child feeling overwhelmed and seeking connection. A successful strategy I supported a family with was creating a special snuggle space with a tent and cushions, filled with items the child loved. The toddler got cuddles, parental attention, and the connection they needed, meaning they were happy without a breastfeed.


When considering breastfeeding boundaries, you need to reflect on your own feelings about feeding. When does it feel overwhelming, and when do you enjoy it? For example, you may not like "breastfeeding gymnastics," but you might love a snuggly feed before bedtime or first thing in the morning. By figuring out how you feel about feeding throughout the day, you can make the changes you need to feel more rested and less touched out. It’s important to remember that every family is different – there’s no right or wrong way to breastfeed your toddler, only the way that makes you feel happy and rested.


If you're feeling exhausted, touched out, and unsure of the first steps to take, contact me. I can support you in meeting your breastfeeding goals and helping you find a balance that works for you and your toddler. Book a free call today to chat things through.



bottom of page