"Can I just ask you about his sleep?" This was one of the most common questions I was asked when I worked as a Health Visitor, running baby weighing clinics and developmental checks. I must admit, I never felt entirely confident answering sleep-related questions. My training on sleep was minimal and largely focused on behavioural sleep training, which often left me feeling uneasy. After all, we would never leave a distressed adult to cry, so why should we leave a little person, with limited ability to self-regulate, alone? Moreover, this approach conflicted with the principles I had learned about attachment, breastfeeding, and infant mental health.
So, I decided I needed to learn more about sleep—but from whom? That’s when I discovered the amazing Lyndsey Hookway and her Holistic Sleep Coaching Program, offering 100 hours of training and ongoing mentorship. With a background similar to mine as a paediatric nurse, health visitor, and IBCLC, Lyndsey’s approach made complete sense. It felt like the perfect fit—techniques that I could apply to both my practice and my own family.
Why is Holistic Sleep Coaching a Perfect Fit for Breastfeeding Toddlers?
Child-Centred Approach
Firstly, Holistic Sleep Coaching is centred around the unique needs and personality of each child. Every toddler has their own individual sleep patterns and preferences. A one-size-fits-all approach simply doesn’t work, especially for breastfeeding toddlers. As a holistic sleep coach, I draw on a wealth of strategies and knowledge, working closely with parents to create personalised plans that address both sleep challenges and the child’s emotional needs.
This child-centred approach is where the fun happens! When working with toddlers, I often incorporate play into the sleep plan because children make sense of the world through play. For instance, using a teddy bear's bedtime routine can help introduce new sleep patterns, or role play can be a fun way to explore emotions around sleep. Toddlers often surprise us with their own creative ideas for bedtime!
Responsive Parenting
Holistic Sleep Coaching focuses on being responsive to your child, breastfeeding and responsive parenting go hand in hand. If you're reading this, I imagine being attuned to your toddler's emotional and physical needs is important to you. Holistic sleep coaching encourages you to follow this responsiveness—there are no fixed rules! When your toddler feels secure during sleep transitions, they’re more likely to experience success and sustainability.
We use a tiered approach to sleep strategies, starting with the gentlest methods, starting with the most gentle interventions and gradually building upon them. By making small behaviour modifications over time, your little one might go from needing to be rocked to sleep to falling asleep cuddled in bed with minimal fuss. You'll never be told to leave your child unaccompanied to "cry it out." Crucially, you will never be asked to leave your toddler alone to "cry it out." The goal is to foster a nurturing and attached relationship while gently guiding your child toward more independent sleep. Also, I would never suggest stopping breastfeeding—it's an incredible source of comfort for little ones.
Respecting Normal Toddler Behaviour
There are many unrealistic expectations around toddler sleep, especially when it comes to breastfeeding. These expectations can cause unnecessary anxiety for parents and, sadly, sometimes lead to early weaning. Holistic sleep coaching acknowledges that waking during the night is biologically normal for toddlers, especially those who are still breastfeeding.
As a parent, knowing that your experience is normal—and that you’re not alone—can be incredibly reassuring. You’re not failing because your toddler still wakes up; in fact, you're doing great! Holistic sleep coaching offers a realistic and compassionate perspective on what to expect from toddler sleep.
Holistic Family Approach
Toddler's don't just exist in isolation, they are surrounded by loving families who have their own needs, too. Holistic Sleep Coaches look at how to support the entire family. In holistic sleep coaching, we take a broader look at how we can support the entire family. Sometimes this means incorporating self-care for the parent into the bedtime routine or working toward family goals, like ensuring both parents can share bedtime duties.
For example, I once worked with a family where the goal was for the father to be able to put their toddler to sleep so the mother could attend an evening yoga class. Within three weeks, the family had achieved that goal. It’s all about finding balance that works for everyone in the household.
Gentle Boundaries
For breastfeeding toddlers, introducing gentle sleep boundaries is possible, helping parents feel more balanced in their breastfeeding relationship, especially if their little one frequently feeds at night. For toddlers, appropriate boundaries provide a sense of security. Knowing what is allowed and what isn’t helps them feel safe. Whether it's limiting bedtime stories to two books, deciding whether toys are allowed in bed, or setting consistent bedtime routines, these boundaries are tailored to what feels right for your family.
Breastfeeding itself can sometimes feel overwhelming, especially when a toddler seeks the breast frequently at night. In such cases, setting boundaries—such as gently reducing night feeds while providing alternative comfort—can help. This not only improves sleep but also reduces feelings of being "touched out." If this resonates with you, check out my “Feeling Touched Out” blog for more insights.
Ready to Explore How Holistic Sleep Coaching Can Help Your Family?
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by your toddler’s sleep or breastfeeding needs and you are not quite sure what to tackle first, I'm here to help you! I offer a free 15-minute discovery call where we can discuss your current challenges and see how I can support you on your journey to better sleep. Whether it’s improving bedtime routines, reducing night feeds, or simply finding balance, I’m here to help.